Rachel Lithgow joins the Spotlight this week to chat about her memoir
Author Name: Rachel Lithgow
Book Title: My Year of Really Bad Dates
Book Genre: Memoir
Release Date: 11/11/25
Publisher: She Writes Press
Welcome, Rachel! Please tell us a bit about your book.
The title tells you that it’s about bad dates, and believe me, there were plenty. If the reader is looking to cringe, howl with laughter, and be mortified at the same time, you won’t be disappointed. But the REAL theme of the book is coming home to yourself halfway through your life, and discovering that being authentic matters. Speaking your own truth to power matters. Being YOU matters even if it’s different from the masks you’ve been wearing for most of your life.
What do you hope readers will gain or learn from reading about your experience?
I hope readers will learn that all the noise that mostly filters in and around us these days may be an amusing distraction, but going inward, being still, and really sitting with feelings and thoughts while you noodle where your life is and where you want it to be has a lot of value.
Any new writing projects in the works?
I have a lot of projects in the hopper: a fun cookbook and divorce humor guide I wrote with my dear friend Celia Behar is out on submission, and I’ve got a good draft of a memoir about my complicated relationship with my father, who was a petty gangster in Buffalo, New York, in the 70s and 80s. I also have a novel, a historical fiction book about a Jewish Street Gang in Queens between 1957-1977. I’m looking forward to seeing those come alive.
What was the last book you read? What did you think of it?
I just finished two great books: “Last Call at the Savoy” by Brisa Carleton is such a fun historical fiction book about an amazing woman who invented some of the most popular cocktails, who was written out of history, and Craig Thomas just wrote a delightful book called “That’s Not How it Happened” that I’m excited to read.
Where can readers find you?
I have a ton of events coming up on LI, New York, LA and Buffalo (my hometown, go Bills) @iamrachellithgow http://www.racheljlithgow.com
Thank you, Rachel! My Year of Really Bad Dates is out TODAY.
My Year of Really Bad Dates
For anyone who’s ever gone on terrible date, a vulnerable memoir that explores dating in midlife after divorce, with bad dates—from terrible one-night stands to promising matches who ultimately disappoint—anchoring the theme of every chapter.
After two life-shaking events—losing her father and divorcing the man she’s spent half her life with, who happens to be an actor from a famous family—Rachel Lithgow leaves a thirty-year career to write full time and pursue a relationship with a calming, delightful man she recently met online. She thinks she has it all figured out . . . until he announces he’s joining a cult and moving to Phoenix with a blonde real estate agent.
Through a year of terrible dates, peppered with a few great experiences and a lot of pinot noir, the author learns that patterns can be changed, that asking for help is sometimes necessary, and that there’s only one way to repair her brokenness: by facing her trauma and demons head-on.
With a unique mix of humor, self-deprecation, and gritty vulnerability, this dark yet hopeful memoir tackles divorce, dating, single motherhood, PTSD, grief, loss, and starting over in midlife. From emotional rock bottom to a peaceful acceptance of the woman she truly is, Lithgow finds the humor in the blackness, redemption in the pathos, and fulfillment in the idea that “happily ever after” isn’t always a storybook ending—and doesn’t need to be.
After two life-shaking events—losing her father and divorcing the man she’s spent half her life with, who happens to be an actor from a famous family—Rachel Lithgow leaves a thirty-year career to write full time and pursue a relationship with a calming, delightful man she recently met online. She thinks she has it all figured out . . . until he announces he’s joining a cult and moving to Phoenix with a blonde real estate agent.
Through a year of terrible dates, peppered with a few great experiences and a lot of pinot noir, the author learns that patterns can be changed, that asking for help is sometimes necessary, and that there’s only one way to repair her brokenness: by facing her trauma and demons head-on.
With a unique mix of humor, self-deprecation, and gritty vulnerability, this dark yet hopeful memoir tackles divorce, dating, single motherhood, PTSD, grief, loss, and starting over in midlife. From emotional rock bottom to a peaceful acceptance of the woman she truly is, Lithgow finds the humor in the blackness, redemption in the pathos, and fulfillment in the idea that “happily ever after” isn’t always a storybook ending—and doesn’t need to be.
Author Bio:
Rachel J. Lithgow is a historian and museum professional with thirty years of experience running large cultural institutions. Her work and writing have appeared in dozens of publications around the world, including The New York Times, The Daily News, Time, The Advocate, The Jerusalem Post, The Huffington Post, the Los Angeles Times, The Times of Israel, eJP, The New York Observer, and the Buffalo News. Rachel has two children and splits her time between Long Beach, Long Island, and Hell’s Kitchen in New York City.