Mary Devine is here this week to discuss her memoir, Standing Up
Author Name: Mary Devine
Book Title: Standing Up – Making the Best Out of Surviving the Worst
Book Genre: Memoir
Release Date: May 6, 2025
Publisher: She Writes Press
Welcome, Mary! Please tell us a bit about your book.
Can you imagine being a victim of domestic violence at the hands of your husband, only to turn your life around and become a police detective in the Domestic Violence Unit? Well, I did. One of my first cases mirrored my own violent experience, bringing me face to face with my demons—forcing me to confront them and come full circle.
What drew you to write a memoir about this experience? What made you want to tell this particular story? What do you hope readers will gain or learn from reading about your experience?
I’ve spent years talking to women about their experiences and hearing my fellow officers vent their frustration about going back to the same homes over and over, only to watch the violence escalate. More often than not, there were kids in the picture, and I knew they’d either grow up to be victims themselves or repeat the cycle as abusers. Having been on both sides of that reality, I was determined to help break the cycle—offering support and healing to those ready to leave and resources for those who weren’t there yet but still needed help.
Even if you haven’t been a victim yourself, chances are you know someone who has. The stats don’t lie—one in three women and one in five men in the U.S. will experience relationship violence this year.
But here’s the good part: life after abuse can be amazing. Leaving my abuser opened doors I never even knew existed. I’ve had opportunities I wouldn’t have dreamed of if I had stayed. I’ve done things I never thought possible—and I’m just getting started. I love my life, and if sharing my journey inspires even one person to change theirs, it’s all worth it.
At the end of the day, this is what I want people to know: You have the power to decide what your life looks like. It can be full of joy and possibility, or it can be a constant struggle—but the choice is yours. And in all my years, I’ve never met a single survivor who regretted leaving. Not one.
What was your research process like for Standing Up – Making the Best out of Surviving the Worst?
A lot of what happened to me is etched in my mind—I couldn’t forget it if I wanted to. And honestly, I don’t want to. My story unfolds chronologically and took place years ago, so one of the biggest challenges was pinpointing exact times and dates. Luckily, I kept letters, pictures, and records of marriages, divorces, and accomplishments, which made it a whole lot easier.
From your perspective, what’s the hardest thing about writing and researching? And what do you love most about it?
The toughest part of the research was reliving my experiences while telling my story—some of which I had never dared to revisit. Most of my family members have no idea about much of it, and the thought of them reading certain parts made me, let’s say, strategic in my early drafts. Those first versions were packed with watered-down truths, and in some cases, I left out entire chunks just to avoid looking too bad. But after seven years—yes, seven—I finally wrote the raw, unfiltered truth. It was incredibly difficult… but also incredibly healing.
Of course, no one’s life is all bad, and the fun part came after the abuse. I laughed a lot while recalling the police academy, graduation, my first night on patrol, and the incredible people who became my brothers and sisters in uniform. Some of the most amazing characters you can imagine—many of whom appear in my book—became lifelong friends. Others don’t make an appearance, but trust me, they’re just as unforgettable!
What’s capturing your imagination these days outside of reading and writing?
I love drawing and painting—mostly animals, people, or whatever sparks my imagination. Recently, I had the sudden urge to paint a dragonfly, so I added it to my phone notes, where it will patiently wait until I find the time (or remember it exists). I usually paint in the winter when it’s too cold to go outside and the second-floor loft isn’t trying to roast me alive. When I finish a piece, I often give it away to the person who unknowingly inspired me—whether they want it or not!
Any new writing projects in the works?
I do have a plan for my next book—just nothing on paper yet. I’ve learned a ton from writing the first one, and I’m a quick study, so the next book should come together pretty fast. It’ll pick up right where this one leaves off.
What was the last book you read? What did you think of it?
Last book I read was: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine – by Gail Honeyman and I loved it. What a captivating, unique book and surprising ending.
Where can readers find you? (Website, blog, social media, etc.—feel free to include any upcoming, live/online events, workshops, too!)
Website: https://www.marydevinebooks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StandUpMaryDevine
Instagram: mary.devine.2519
TikTok:
Thank you, Mary! Standing Up launches TODAY.
Standing Up – Making the Best Out of Surviving the Worst
For true-crime fans, a gripping memoir of a domestic violence survivor who becomes a police detective in the domestic violence unit and is forced to face her demons when her first major case mirrors her own violent assault.
Standing Up invites you on an exhilarating journey with a woman who refuses to be defined by her scars. A pulse-pounding chronicle of survival against all odds, this memoir takes readers along on a plunge into the chilling depths of abusive relationships.
At the tender age of twenty-three, Mary Sweeney-Devine unwittingly stumbled into the clutches of her abuser, igniting anguish and despair. With each heart-wrenching trial, including a hospital visit, she unearthed a reservoir of resilience she didn’t know she possessed. But just when she thought she had weathered the storm, a second marriage to a recovering alcoholic unleashed a tempest of secrets and unforeseen challenges.
Yet Devine emerged from the darkness, fueled by an unyielding determination and a fierce spirit. With the help of unexpected allies, determination, and a sprinkling of humor, she navigated the treacherous terrain of her past—and reclaimed her life with courage. Offering hope to those ensnared in the vicious cycle of abuse, Standing Up is a riveting testament to Devine’s indomitable spirit and a gripping saga that will leave you breathlessly rooting for the victory of the human heart over adversity.