E.L. Deards joins the Spotlight to discuss her novel, Wild with All Regrets
Author Name: E.L. Deards
Book Title: Wild with All Regrets
Book Genre: Historical/LGBT
Release Date: June 13, 2023
Publisher: SheWrites Press
Welcome, E.L.! Please tell us about Wild with All Regrets.
Delving through years of a troubled past, Lucas must face that he’s suppressed his truest self from the one he loves most in the world.
What sparked the idea for this book?
My favorite character ever was killed off in a way I couldn’t quite cope with back in 2016. WWAR was a way for me to explore his death, what it meant to me, and I guess try to come to terms with it. Not too long after I started Lucas and Jamie had both evolved into their own characters, and the association with the original material was very loose. As someone with autism, writing is a big part of how I explore and understand emotions (both mine and other people’s). I was truly compelled to write this work.
How long did it take for you to write the book? Did you do any research?
About three months to have a first draft, probably, but then it took two years to edit it. I did a fair bit of research as it came up— obviously big things like ‘where was this battle,’ ‘how many casualties in the Easter Uprising,’, but also things that you might not think of like ‘did most people in Ireland in 1905 have a toilet?,’ ‘was corn a commonly imported good such that low income households would be familiar with it?’
It’s great.
What drew you to writing historical fiction?
My passion is LGBT stories, it’s what I’ve always been the most interested in writing and the genre of romance that inspires me the most. Historical fiction, unfortunately, normally means that the setting already has organic conflict built in. Homophobia, lack of acceptance, understanding, bigotry— these conflicts and horrors are things I want to explore and overcome in fiction.
What’s your favorite part about writing/being an author? What do you find challenging?
My favorite part about writing is how much I enjoy it. I love creating stories, characters, and worlds for them to live in. I’m a veterinarian in real life and writing is the perfect outlet for me— to help me unwind from the emotional challenges of seeing people and animals suffering, and to explore my own feelings in a creative and productive way.
The thing I find challenging is the constant state of questioning my own skillset. Am I good enough for someone to want to read my stories? Are people going to be mean to me on the internet? Equally the process of publication is rife with rejection and frustration, especially for less mainstream works.
If you were speaking to someone who hasn’t read your writing before, why should they want to read Wild with All Regrets?
This is a hard question to answer without sounding arrogant or self serving, but I think I have three main skills as a writer. Firstly, I try my best to make my characters feel like living, breathing people. Secondly, I am fairly good at writing snappy dialogue which I think is fun to read. Lastly, I try and make my readers experience a spectrum of emotions when they read my works. Lucas is a deeply troubled and wounded man, with a difficult past and an unhealthy present. I think WWAR will make you feel, if nothing else. It’s different, it’s weird, it’s a bit challenging, but ultimately I think it’ll take you on an emotional journey which is worth reading.
I hope anyway.
What do you hope readers will take away from this story?
I want them to understand Lucas. I want them to understand how a lifetime of pain and rejection can culminate in serious mental illness and aberrant behavior. I want them to imagine what it might have been like if Lucas had been born to a supportive family, at a time where he could be a gay man out in the open.
More than anything, I want them to connect with the characters and miss them when they turn the last page.
What about the writing/editing/publishing process has been the most surprising to you so far?
How much I hate marketing. I’m absolutely hopeless at self promotion and social media stuff! I’m trying my best, thank you very much for interviewing me.
Any words of wisdom you give your pre-published writer self (or to a new writer)?
Hone your craft. You can always improve, this isn’t the best thing you can write or will ever write. Get people to read your book, listen to their critiques and grow!
Also, be prepared for nonstop rejections. It’s not personal.
What are your interests outside of writing and reading?
Well as mentioned I’m a veterinarian in real life. I’m interest in small animal surgery and I’m passionate about improving animal health by breeding healthier puppies from the beginning. I also speak Japanese, play video games, knit, rollerblade, and bake.
Are you working on a new project? Please tell us about it.
Yes! My new book To Hell and Back! It’s completely different from WWAR, it’s a fantasy book which is more of a fun romp than a deep psychological exploration of mental illness.
The elevator pitch is: A pair of exorcist con artists use sleights of hand and their natural charm to scam the nation’s wealthiest… until one of them becomes possessed for real.
Keep an eye out for it in many years, I guess.
Where can readers find you?
I’m not great at social media, but you can find me on twitter @emmadeards or instagram https://www.instagram.com/emmadeards/ or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/emma.deards/. I also have a website emmadeards.com but so far I haven’t done very much with it I’m afraid.
The best thing about having a weird last name is that these handles are all available. It apparently means ‘from the valley of the deers’ or ‘of the hard teeth.’ I don’t know.
Thank you, E.L.! Wild with All Regrets is out now!
Wild with All Regrets
A decade has passed since Lucas Connolly lost his best friend—and the only man he’s ever loved—in World War I, but he still can’t shake his guilt over Jamie’s death. In fact, ever since losing Jamie, Lucas has heard his friend’s voice inside his head—confused about what happened to him, begging him for help. And now, suddenly, it’s not just Jamie’s voice anymore; now, a specter who looks and acts exactly like Jamie did before his death, and who is demanding answers from Lucas about what happened to him, has begun to haunt him.
Concerned about Lucas’s deteriorating mental state, his friend Angela encourages him to move on with his life, and even sets him up with a coworker whom she suspects is also gay. But Lucas is too consumed with the secret he still keeps about the part he played in Jamie’s death to even begin to form a healthy connection with someone new—and as Jamie’s ghost begins to recover his memories and get closer to the truth, Lucas’s obsession only deepens.
Ultimately, Lucas realizes that his only path forward is to first go backward—that only in examining his troubled youth, facing his deepest self, and shining a light on the shadowed parts of his past will he finally be able to set his old friend, and himself, free.