Deborah Derrickson Kossmann joins the Spotlight today to discuss her memoir, Lost Found Kept
Author Name: Deborah Derrickson Kossmann
Book Title: Lost Found Kept: A Memoir
Book Genre: Memoir/Nonfiction
Release Date: January 5, 2025
Publisher: Trio House Press
Welcome, Deborah! Please tell us a bit about your book.
My book blurb says it best: “How does a psychologist fail to recognize that her intelligent, sensitive, and book-loving mother has created “the worst hoarder house ever seen?” After making the horrifying discovery that her mother had no water in her house for at least two years, Deborah Derrickson Kossmann begins the otherworldly excavation of a childhood home she hasn’t been inside for three decades. Moving back and forth in time, from this surreal nightmare of an archaeological dig to recollecting her past and long buried family secrets, Kossmann seeks to untangle a web of complicated familial relationships. In her lyrical and unflinching quest, she comes to understand what’s been lost, what’s been found and what’s been kept in both her own and her mother’s life.”
What drew you to write a memoir about this experience? What made you want to tell this particular story? What do you hope readers will gain or learn from reading about your experience?
I’d been writing a different memoir that didn’t include much about my mother because I felt I couldn’t write about her until after she had died. That book didn’t work. Everyone who read it said something was missing. That “something” was my mother, of course. When we had to rescue her, I realized my story, as well as hers, could best be framed through the discovery and cleanout of the house which allowed me to sift through my history again and understand it through the lens of what happened. Ironically, the hoarding chaos helped organize the book. In America it’s estimated that one in fifty people are hoarders (with various levels of this). That means there are many family members, including children of hoarders, who are struggling with what to do in these situations, like my sister and I did. All good memoir touches on universal themes and experiences, despite whatever individual traumas it describes. I hope readers will have compassion for the difficulties of having a mentally ill family member and for the flawed and human ways we coped. I hope they can use that to understand their own struggles differently.
From your perspective, what’s the hardest thing about writing? And what do you love most about it?
Everything? Joking aside, I think beginning is the hardest part of writing. Once there’s something on paper (and I still mostly start with a pen and my journal—there’s something about handwriting that takes me to a different mental space) it feels somewhat easier to me. I love the editing process where you have a lot of the words down, but you are diving all the way in to try to get it just right for the reader. I love that flow and the satisfaction you have when you finally catch it. It’s like being a fisherman reeling in a giant, colorful fish!
What’s capturing your imagination these days outside of reading and writing?
I started doing Pilates two years ago for my back and I love it so much I’m doing it three times a week now. I love learning something new, particularly something physical that takes me out of my head (I’m not very coordinated, so it’s a challenge). I picked up needlepointing again during Covid and am now working on a three-foot canvas that looks a bit like one of the famous unicorn tapestries. My husband and I have a modern dance subscription series where we see all kinds of different dance companies from around the world. We also have tickets to Philadelphia Flyers hockey games (I’ve been a committed fan since I was 12). And don’t get me started on TV. I’m into binging programs with great writing and highly recommend The Bureau, Shrinking, Bad Sisters and The Bear to name only a few of way too many recent ones. A writer should be well-rounded with lots of interests!
Any new writing projects in the works?
My next book is a collection of essays, COMPLICATIONS OF CAPTIVITY. These pieces combine historical research about the Philadelphia Zoo and its inhabitants (staff and animals), environmental concerns, psychological theory and memoir. I’m looking at how sometimes being caught is what saves something. In some ways I’m continuing to explore one of the themes in LOST FOUND KEPT.
What was the last book you read? What did you think of it?
I’m currently halfway through KING: A LIFE by Jonathan Eig. It’s fascinating and has made me hopeful about what committed people can do to right longstanding wrongs. There is so much historical detail about King and the civil rights movement I am learning about. Before that, I read Sean Hewitt’s memoir ALL DOWN DARKNESS WIDE which is a beautifully lyrical, clear-eyed telling of his coming out and relationship struggles. He’s Irish and his poetry is wonderful too.
Where can readers find you?
My book can be ordered wherever fine books are sold. Check out https://www.lostfoundkept.com/ for all the information you need to find me, places to order the book, and upcoming events. A live virtual book launch reading and discussion with Trio House Press happens on Sunday, January 12, 2025, that will also be available afterwards through triohousepress.org on their YouTube channel. I’ll be reading and doing an in-person book signing at Moore Books in Havertown, PA on Friday, January 17, 2025, at 7pm. I also have several readings planned for early March in and around Cleveland, OH. I love book groups, so feel free to reach out about my dropping by for a discussion (virtually or in person) at yours!
Thanks, Sarahlyn for your thoughtful questions. It’s been a pleasure.
Thank YOU, Deborah! Lost Found Kept is out now.
Author bio:
Deborah Derrickson Kossmann’s essays, feature articles and poetry have been published in The New York Times, Nashville Review, Psychotherapy Networker and Solstice Magazine to name a few. She was the winner of the Short Memoir Competition at the Philadelphia First Person Arts Festival and was awarded a Pennsylvania Council on the Arts Poetry Fellowship. When she’s not working as a clinical psychologist in private practice outside Philadelphia, PA, she and her husband are devoted servants to Sofia Carmela, a cat with a whole lot of “tortitude.”